Konoha Children's Crusade Chapter 16 Part 3

*******

"Chirosu! Hebisu! This is your last warning! Get your butts out of bed and get down stairs in the next five minutes or so help me I'm going to start summoning pit vipers into your room!" Anko angrily stormed off muttering.

Chirosu groaned, smacked her lips, and rolled over. She pried open one eye and looked at the clock. It read 11:30 AM in glowing red numbers. "What's Mom having a fit about?" she muttered groggily, "It's not even noon." She turned in her bed and stared at the ceiling.

There was a rustling of sheets as her twin sister giggled in the bed on the other side of the room. "Ooh, your arms are so big and strong." Hebisu murmured in her sleep. She shifted in her bed and hugged her pillow. Chirosu let her head fall to one side so she could better watch her sister's antics.

Hebisu giggled again. "Stop it Asuma-kun! I know you're grateful to me for rescuing you, but I have my honor as a kunoichi to think about… I'm just not that kind of girl!" Hebisu moaned and squeezed her pillow tighter. "Actually, I think I am that sort of girl." She giggled again and rolled with her pillow.

Chirosu made five quick hand signs. Electricity sparked between her fingertips. She coiled it into a thin snake and snapped it at her sister's bed.

Hebisu screamed, leaped into the air, and fell out of bed. She rolled across the floor and popped up, wild eyed in a combat stance. "What? Where? Who?" she babbled.

"Mom said it's time to get up," croaked Chirosu. She tried to run her fingers through her hair but they got stuck in a tangle. "She says we've got five minutes." Chirosu made a vague gesture across the room. "Also, your bed is on fire. You might want to put it out."

"What? Again?" shrieked Hebisu. She grabbed her fallen pillow and began frantically beating the small flames in her blankets. Smoke and bits of charred linen began to float around the room. A large piece landed on Chirosu's bedding and began to smolder. She eyed it critically and decided that she could stay in bed until it burst into open flame. "Open the window, will you?" she called out to her sister. "It's getting stuffy in here."

"You open it!" snapped Hebisu in between smacks. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm busy!"

Chirosu thought about the effort it would take to get out of bed and groaned. "I guess it's not that important," she murmured, and pulled the blankets over her head.

Hebisu gave the bed one more solid thwack and sighed. "Dammit. Why does this always happen? I was just having the nicest dream too. Asuma-kun and I were out on a date," she said in a teasing voice.

"Really," said Chirosu flatly. "I never would have guessed that."

"Mmm-Hmm!" said Hebisu proudly. "And then we started making out and everything."

"Wow… That sounds amazing. Too bad it was just another dream." Chirosu rolled over and covered her head with her pillow.

"You're just jealous! This time we got to the point where Asuma-kun started to…" Hebisu gasped in realization, and looked at her bed, glanced over at her sister and then stared back at her bed. "It was you!" she said with icy certainty.

"What was me?"

"All this time… You've been making me think it was me accidentally setting fire to the bed." Hebisu narrowed her eyes. "Every time I had an Asuma dream."

"How could it possibly have been me?" asked Chirosu feigning drowsiness. "I was asleep this whole… YEOWCH!" Chirosu howled as a jolt of electricity snapped her. She tumbled out of bed. "What was that for?" she snarled at her sister.

"Revenge!" said Hebisu proudly. "Now we're even for all the times you zapped me!"

"Oh no," said Chirosu coldly. "This is not even close to being over."

"Are you sure about that?" said Hebisu impishly. "Because I think you ought to know, now your bed is on fire."

Chirosu screamed in frustration, scooped up the burning sheets and hurled them at Hebisu. Hebisu stuck out her tongue and easily side stepped the smoking bundle, which landed in a corner piled high with junk.

Chirosu followed up with a roundhouse kick. Hebisu countered with a series of punches. Chirosu caught the last punch and tried to leverage it into a throw, but Hebisu reversed it and tried for one of her own.

There was a soft "Whumpf!" in the corner as the embers from Chirosu's blanket ignited the papers piled up there. Hebisu froze. "My unfinished love poems!" she wailed. Chirosu used the distraction to tackle her sister.

From there, both sisters forgot about all about their taijutsu training and the fight degenerated into a hair pulling, eye poking, knees and elbows flailing, shrieking brawl.

"Stupid jerk!" screamed Chirosu, slapping her sisters face.

"Bitch!" yelled Hebisu, grabbing a double handful of her sister's hair. They rolled about on the carpet crashing into the beds, desks, dressers and chairs. The fire in the corner began to spread to the wall and across the carpet.

"Times UP!" yelled Anko from downstairs. Both girls froze, and stared at each other in horror.

"Mom wait!" yelled Hebisu

"We're awake! We're awake!" called out Chirosu.

There was an enormous burst of smoke. Both girls screamed as the bedroom filled up with snakes.

It was later. Fires were put out, snakes were removed, and both Chirosu and Hebisu sat at the breakfast table pouting at their mother. "That was totally uncalled for Mom," said Chirosu in a hurt voice. "We were getting ready, honest we were."

"We just got a little distracted that's all," Hebisu chipped in.

Anko gave a glare that froze them both. "Your father is going to be really upset when he hears you set fire to your room again."

Chirosu blinked. "Dad's going to be upset? Why?"

"Dad never gets upset," added Hebisu.

"He will get upset when I tell him to be upset! I just never tell him to be upset, unless something makes me upset!" shouted Anko. "And right now, I am really upset!"

Both Hebisu and Chirosu hung their heads. "Sorry Mom," they mumbled in unison.

Anko turned her back and began angrily scooping their breakfast into bowls. "Well you should be sorry. Honestly, the pair of you are chunin! Your father would be ashamed to see the pair of you brawling like that."

"Dad would be ashamed? What about you?" asked Hebisu innocently.

"Especially me!" snapped Anko.

Both Chirosu and Hebisu flinched. "Sorry Mom," they echoed again.

"I mean really. The pair of you were fighting like you were still in the academy. Have I been wasting my time all these years? The next time you two fight each other, I expect you to go at it like you're serious!"

Hebisu looked up. "Mom?"

"As a loving parent, I just cannot tolerate that sort of thing," said Anko in a disgusted voice. "The average fight on the academy playground shows more basic taijutsu skill than what you were doing. Weren't you paying attention to anything your father and I were teaching you all these years?"

"But Dad told us not to destroy the house again, otherwise he might get mad at us," said Chirosu quietly.

Anko made a dismissive gesture with one hand. "Trust me, Kakashi would be more upset to see that the pair of you completely threw your training out the window then he would about some little damage to your room."

"Are you sure Mom?" asked Hebisu, "Because last time, when we took out a wall he said..."

Anko slid a bowl of cold rice in front of each of her daughters. "Pfft! Your Father won't get upset unless I tell him to." She sat down at the table with her children. "The next time you two go at it, I want to see some real violence, some real blood lust there. That kiddie stuff will never cut it in the real world." She shook her head. "If I fought like that when I was your age I would have been eaten alive." She nodded to the bowls. "Now eat up. You've got a long day ahead of you." The twins carefully looked at each other, picked up their bowls, and started eating.

"So what's the big rush Mom?" asked Hebisu with her mouth full. "We don't have to be at the Cafe' for work until three. And we're off of missions until Futaba is out of the hospital."

Anko smiled a thin smile. "You may not have an official mission, but there's nothing to stop me from giving you one. 'She whipped out two sheets of paper and slapped them down on the table in front of her daughters. "I need you to go... shopping!"

"Woo-Hoo!" yelled Hebisu, throwing her hands up in the air. "There's a whole bunch of those sexy little short-shorts that they just got in at the ..."

"Shopping for what Mom?" interrupted  Chirosu in a suspicious voice.

"Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that." Anko turned away and busied herself about the kitchen humming happily.

Slowly Chirosu picked up her list and read down it. "New carpeting... Really Mom new carpets already?"

Anko shrugged. "Well somehow the carpets in one of the upstairs bedrooms got a little scorched this morning, so I figured why not make the most of it and redo all the rugs."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," said Chirosu slowly. "But why the new curtains?"

"Why not spice things up further with a new design for the windows?" Anko reached out and tugged at the current drapes around the kitchen window. "The old blue ones just aren't doing it for me anymore. I was thinking some dark red... Maybe with a pattern of shuriken."

"Ooh! Or skulls! I'd like skulls!" chirped Hebisu through a full mouth.

Anko nodded. "Skulls would be good too... Definitely different."

Chirosu shook her head she looked at the next item on the list. "New upholstery?" She asked incredulously.

"Well the furniture should match the drapes don't you think?" said Anko with forced seriousness.

"So you want skulls on the furniture too Mom?"

Anko giggled. "Heavens no! Skulls on the furniture, don't be so macabre." She scoffed and thought for a second. "The furniture will need something a little more sensible... Swords perhaps."

"Swords," said Chirosu sarcastically. "Why swords? Why not axes?"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! I like that one Mom!" said Hebisu, clapping excitedly. "You could have sort of a decapitation theme going on!"

Chirosu covered her eyes with her hands. "A decapitation theme. Yes, nothing says interior decorating like a decapitation theme." She looked up and glanced at her mother and sister. "What's next? A miniature guillotine over the bathroom sink? A severed head as a table lamp?"

Anko pursed her lips thoughtfully. "I did put new light fixtures on the list."

"Mom! I was only joking!" snapped Chirosu.

"Yeah Mom, she was joking. If we made a severed head into a lamp it would get all runny and goopy after a week or so!" said Hebisu in a scolding voice. "We'd have to use something that wouldn't rot, like a skull."

"Ooh! Do you know where we could get one?" asked Anko eagerly.

"Ugh!" groaned Chirosu. 'Why do you always have to do this? Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is?"

"What? We're just decorating the house," said Hebisu innocently.

"Nobody decorates a house like this!" fumed Chirosu "Skulls!?! Axes!?! Decapitation!?! What kind of stupid game are you playing?"

Anko turned and smiled "Don't be so serious," she said calmly. "We're just teasing you."

"We are?" asked Hebisu, disappointed.

"Yes we are," said Anko with finality. "But, the shopping list is real. We do need to redo the rugs and I figure that now is as good a time as any to redecorate." Chirosu started to say something, but Anko stopped her with a pointed finger. "Yes... before you ask... I am serious about redecorating... again. Just not with skulls."

"Aww! I liked that idea. I thought it was pretty cool," whined Hebisu. Everyone ignored her.

Chirosu sighed, half with relief, half in annoyance. "Fine, what do you want us to get?"

Anko shrugged. "Surprise me."

Both Chirosu and Hebisu stopped eating for a moment and looked at their mother. "Surprise you?" asked Chirosu incredulously.

Anko nodded again. "I want to hear your ideas. I want to see what you think would be good this time." Anko grinned. "I want to work on a little mother-daughter project with the both of you."

"Does this mean we can do a decapitation theme?" asked Hebisu excitedly.

Chirosu sighed. "Mom, the last mother-daughter project we 'worked on' together was when you made us attack that bandit camp."

Anko turned away and cheerfully started doing the dishes. "Slavers dear. They weren't bandits, they were slavers."

"What's the difference?" asked Chirosu grouchily.

"Bandits steal things. Slavers steal people," said Hebisu helpfully.

"Thanks. That just cleared everything up for me," muttered Chirosu sarcastically.

"Actually I've found that most bandits aren't as bad as slavers. I've met a few over the years who have turned out to be okay." Anko shook her head. "I've never known a slaver who deserved a moment's mercy."

"And yet for some reason, you marched your two thirteen year old daughters right into their camp with no plan, no gear, and no preparation," said Chirosu in a hurt voice.

Anko smiled, showing far too many teeth. "And the pair of you tore those bastards apart," she said with a vicious pride.

Hebisu nudged Chirosu. "Remember that one guy we chased up the tree? He refused to come down until the ANBU promised him that they wouldn't let us hurt him anymore."

Anko walked around the table and put an arm around each of her daughters. "I left the pair of you in that slavers' camp because I knew you could destroy it. I wanted to give you some confidence, show you that the pair of you could do some good in the world." Anko squeezed them a little bit tighter. "I also wanted to give you an up close lesson about what happens to people who don't fight hard enough."

"Mom," said Chirosu in an exasperated voice, "All of those slaves were just ordinary people, not shinobi. There was no way they could have fought those slavers and survived."

Anko sighed. She let her arm slide down to the table and began to drum her fingers. "How many slavers were there?"

"Ooh! I remember!" said Hebisu eagerly. "There were eight!"

"And how many slaves were there?" asked Anko quietly.

"I don't know," shrugged Chirosu, "maybe sixty? Seventy?"

Anko smiled. "I wouldn't want to fight at eight to one odds, would you?"

"Even so, at eight to one odds, if those people fought, some of those people were going to die!" said Chirosu emphatically.

Anko turned and stared at Chirosu until she blinked and uncomfortably turned away. "You saw what was being done to them." Anko said icily. "You saw the conditions they were living in. Would you say that was better than risking death to save the people you were enslaved with?"

Anko sighed and clapped her daughters on the back. She gave them a reassuring smile. "I'd say it was an eye opening experience for the both of you! Not a very pleasant one, but eye opening nonetheless." She gave them a little pat. "Right now all I am suggesting is that we try an activity that is a little less violent. What do you say? Let's try to redecorate."

Chirosu sighed heartily. "Whatever Mom." She picked up the list and slouched her way towards the door.

Hebisu got up as well, but hesitated. "Hey Mom? I really, really, really liked the skulls idea. Can we try it please?"

Anko laughed. "Let's see what you can come up with. I promise we'll give it a try." Hebisu hugged her mother and happily bounced out of the kitchen.

Anko waited for the front door to close and checked the clock. She smiled. "Good," she thought. "I still have plenty of time to get ready."

Kakashi wandered in twenty minutes later. He struggled a little taking his shoes off, his knee was stiffening up again. "The weather is changing, there must be a storm coming," he thought to himself as he limped his way into the main hall. "Anko?" he called out. There was no answer. "Honey?" he tried again, "I'm home!" he said a little louder. He could smell the scent of food coming from the kitchen so he headed that way.

He stopped when he heard a thump from upstairs. He turned toward the stairwell and called up. "Honey? Is that you?"

"I'll be right there in a second!" yelled Anko. She muttered a frustrated expletive as there was another loud thump.

"I thought you said you wanted me to come home for lunch today because you needed my help with something?"

"I do," she yelled back down from upstairs. "Just go to the kitchen! I'll be there in a second!"

Kakashi stood still for a moment peering up the stairs, but then he shrugged and headed down the hallway into the kitchen. The table was set with a large single dish piled high with food. There was a single pair of chopsticks, and a single candle burning. Off to one side was a plate, piled high with chocolate covered strawberries. Kakashi tilted his head and looked at the scene.

Anko clumped down the stairs in her high heels, and lounged in the doorway wearing a red robe. "Hey," she purred in a low throaty voice.

"What's all this?" asked Kakashi, amused.

Anko tried to sashay forward, stumbling a little in her heels. "I wanted to eat lunch with you. You were late last night and missed dinner, and you said you'd be working late for the rest of the week… So, I thought that maybe we could spend a little time together." She placed a hand on his chest and began to gently push him back. "Have a meal, just the two of us."

Anko pushed Kakashi back to the chair. Smiling he sat down. "I see," he said. "I hate to point this out, after you went to all the trouble of preparing this, but you forgot some chopsticks. There's only one pair."

Anko laughed and shook her head. "I did that on purpose." She sat down in his lap, straddling him. She leaned over the dish, and used the chopsticks to snag a piece of sushi. "I was hoping that I could feed you… Like this," she pulled down Kakashi's mask and popped the piece of sushi into his mouth. "And then maybe you could feed me… Like this." She took his hand and guided it into the bowl of strawberries. Kakashi took one out and held it up to her mouth. Anko grinned at him impishly. She licked the strawberry, sucked the chocolate off the tip, and then bit down. She looked down at Kakashi and raised her eyebrows.

Kakashi smiled. "Where are the girls?" he asked innocently.

"Oh, I sent them off on an errand." Anko leaned forward and nibbled his ear. "They shouldn't be back for an hour or so," she whispered.

Kakashi reached up, turned his head and kissed her passionately. Anko pulled back, and still grinning, fed him another piece of sushi. "I have to say," he said smoothly, "That this is turning out to be the best lunch I've had in awhile." He raised one eyebrow and looked at her. "I do have one small question… Why are you wearing the robe?"

Anko smiled slyly. "Well," she said getting up. "I was thinking, that if we just happened to finish lunch early we could re-enact chapter twelve from Make-out tactics."  She unbelted the robe and let it slide to the floor. Underneath she was wearing a French maid costume. She grinned at Kakashi and did a slow pirouette. "Well?" she asked in a sexy voice. "What do you think?" she stepped back over and straddled his lap again. "Are you still hungry?"